The Taiho's Diary
by enki-sama
Summary: What really goes on in Keiki's mind... (companion series to The Empress's Diary)
1. The Beginning

Juuni Kokki Fanfiction  
Title: The Taiho's Diary #1 - The Beginning  
Written by: Enki-sama  
Fandom: Juuni Kokki  
Pairing: Keiki and Yoko  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimers: Juuni Kokki and all its characters belong to Ono Fuyumi. I am merely borrowing them to have some fun.  
Summary: What really goes on in Keiki's mind... (companion series to The Empress's Diary)

* * *

Dear diary,

And so, it started.

What started?

Well, let me recount the happenings of the morning.

I met Yoko on the way to morning assembly and greeted her good morning. The girl got one of her funny Hourai ideas again, and just pulled me down slightly and planted a kiss on my cheek.

There. A simple Good Morning kiss.

Did she honestly expect me to believe that it is THAT simple? As far as I know, rulers do not go around kissing their kirins good morning. I may look dumb, but I certainly am not. After all, I had to deal with a woman madly in love with me once.

So I told her that her breath stinks.

I knew she had eaten meat last night. She always eat meat when I am out for business. I appreciated the fact that she doesn't eat them in front of me, but it does not mean that I do not know anything about it. Besides, I am not that weak. I just cannot stand the smell of blood. If I really am that weak, I might as well throw myself over the nearest cliff.

Anyway, Yoko was so angry she looked as if she would like to push me over the window ledge. I braced myself for transformation in case she does that. At least I can fly in that form.

But she did not try to murder me. Instead she slapped me and stomped away.

Ah, one point to myself, zero to Yoko.

Once bitten, twice shy.

After the previous incident, I will never give the wrong signals again.

Let's see how Yoko tries to get my attention and fail.

Mwahahahahaha!

* * *

"Don't you think the Taiho is looking kind of strange" Shoukei whispered to Suzu.

"I agree. He seems to be grinning in a sort of maniac way while writing just now." Suzu nodded.

"You don't think that slap Yoko gave him earlier damaged his brain, do you"

"I think it may be better if we call for the physician now."

End

A/N: Ah... I finally posted the first few chapters of this series... I had planned this for a long time, since the start of The Empress's Diary. They are both meant to be humour fics...

I feel so evil... (cackles)

Completed: 2nd January 2005


	2. Dangerous Snacks

Juuni Kokki Fanfiction  
Title: The Taiho's Diary #2 - Dangerous Snacks  
Written by: Enki-sama  
Fandom: Juuni Kokki  
Pairing: Keiki and Yoko  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimers: Juuni Kokki and all its characters belong to Ono Fuyumi. I am merely borrowing them to have some fun.  
Summary: What really goes on in Keiki's mind... (companion series to The Empress's Diary)

* * *

Dear diary,

I think Heaven is playing a rather mean joke on me. If not, why in twelve kingdoms did it decide to grant me another empress after the last one? Don't they know the dangers of this species of living things known as 'women'?

Why I can't I just get a male ruler instead of a female one?

And why do I say that?

Well, do you know that women have the horrible talent of transforming insignificant objects into dangerous weapons?

Poor innocent me was simply doing my part as a good Taiho by looking for Yoko to inform her of the latest news that had arrived from our army in the South when she tried to take advantage of my kind nature.

Do you know where I can lodge a complaint of sexual harassment from my superiors?

Anyway, Yoko had just gotten a shipment of Pocky from Hourai, and she asked me if I would like to try one. Specifically, the one hanging from her lips.

I am not dumb and certainly not blind. I will not fall for something like this.

So, I just snapped the stick of biscuit into half and put it into my mouth. Not bad, but not as enjoyable as the look on Yoko's face.

Ha.

Oh, by the way, remind me to tell Enki to stop accepting orders from Yoko for things from Hourai.

* * *

"Hm, we have a letter from Keiki requesting that we stop selling Hourai imports to Keiou..." Enou muttered as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand.

Enki looked up from his own stack of documents accumulated from skipping two weeks worth of assemblies.

"Was there a problem with the previous shipment" He asked.

"What was in the previous shipment"

"Pocky. This sort of stuff seems rather popular with the women. Yoko's wasn't the only order we received."

"That's strange. It doesn't sound like anything that will bring trouble."

"Who knows."

End

Completed: 2nd January 2005


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